Pop Quiz!
Question: How long does it take to go to the bathroom, if you hurry?
Answer Choices:
A. One minute
B. Two minutes, thirty seconds
C. Twenty-five seconds
D. Too long, no matter how fast it is, and how many pee speed records you just broke
I'll give everyone a moment.
Okay, pencils down.
The correct answer, class, is D.
Definitely D.
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Strangely enough, nobody has taken me up on my offer of free children from my last post.
It's a good deal, I swear. They're in decent enough health, have lots of years ahead of them, and would probably fetch a really good price on the black market.
Seriously, no takers?
posted by Becky at
3:52 PM
4 Comments:
I'll throw mine in free! They're pretty cute too, we might be able to snag a buyer if we can keep them clean and stink free for a few minutes!
Wait, I changed my mine--they are TOO cute, and soft and they have dimples. What is this horrible witchcraft?
Sooooo tempting.
But.
No.
Mine are old enough to run the lawnmower, and yours won't be there for years.
Tell you what, I will trade you one toddler for one tween who is 10 going on 16 some days. While she is with you, please teach her how to
1) eat vegetables without complaint and/or throwing up noises;
2) wear a variety of clothes without complaining that any of it is too girly, too pink, not fancy enough etc;
3) practice music without drama as she does in fact enjoy it;
4) keep track of school books and stationary;
5) identify that clothes are dirty and should be put in the wash;
6) actually put the dirty clothes in the wash, especially parts of school uniform;
7) have insight into the fact that at the age of 10 some days people will be your friend and other days not, and it's not the end of the world
8) know that there is a world of music beyond ABBA
9) not push parents' buttons when they are in a bad mood
10) appreciate the good stuff she has in life
What was it that you wanted the toddler to learn? ;-)
oh and
10) be respectful towards her elders at all times
Let's see who cracks and sends the kid back first!
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