Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Dear Office LookyLoos


I am SO sorry.

Look, there are people who can puke quietly, and there are people who can't.

As I'm sure you're all aware by now, I can't.

I am not one of those quiet, dainty pukers.

I wish I was, though. Trust me, I'd much rather head into the bathroom and deposit my breakfast/lunch/snack/whatever into the toilet with nothing more than a delicate cough. It'd be awesome. I could be, like, a dainty little geisha of morning sickness.

But I'm not.

I'm so sorry. For both our sakes.

Look, I'm sorry that it sounds like I'm waging a great and epic battle. I'm really not. There's no angry horde that I'm fighting against. There's no bellowing minotaur attacking me in the bathroom stall.

It's just me. Puking. And I know you don't believe it, but I'm really trying to be quiet about it.


So now that I've explained myself, do you think it's possible that you could stop crowding around the door of the bathroom, whispering in awe? It's kind of embarrassing enough as it is.




Anonymous WarsawMommy said...

Oh, man! I remember those days!

Like you, I am not a Geisha whilst puking: I am a dying and choking cow being run over by a slow-moving tractor.

So. Gross.

I hope the sickness passes soon, babe!

June 23, 2010 at 9:17 AM  
Blogger JJ said...

Yikes, you're scaring me. Pregnancy sounds AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL!!!! I hope you feel better soon. For the record, I sound like a Moose in Heat when I barf - aren't you glad you know that now?

June 23, 2010 at 9:41 AM  
Blogger Fyyahchild said...

We were at the river a couple weekends ago. Just a group of girls having a mom's day off, and one of them drank a little to much. She disappeared and then we found her flopped over one of the rafts throwing up so quietly you might not have known what was going on until you saw it. One of her friends said, "I wish I could puke that quietly!" and we all laughed like that was the funniest thing we'd ever heard. Now I understand.

I will say this. When I was preggers with Jack, my littlest, I worked out in a trailer outside the main building while we were doing some construction. I had not yet told my boss I was pregnant because I was a little nervous they were going to be upset about the time off. Anyway, one day I was sitting there and realized it had been too long since I last ate which meant everything was going to come back up. It was a long run out of our trailer, in the back door of the building and down the long hallway to our bathroom. I made it out of the trailer and then puked all over the building wall as I was tring to pull open the back door. Had to call one of the maintenance guys to come help clean up my mess. I decided then it was time to come clean and tell my boss so she didn't think I was, you know, dying of cancer or very hungover or something. That was a very bad day.

June 23, 2010 at 10:05 AM  
Blogger Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

I am soooo not a quiet puker. It's kind of like sex, though: why do it quietly? Let it ALL hang out and play it UP. Noisier means more sympathy which = more goodies once they stay down.

I'm all about rewards for time served.

June 23, 2010 at 5:19 PM  

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