Friday, October 14, 2011

They May Take Our Lives, But They'll Never Take Our Beans!

Sometimes I wish we still lived in a more romantic time... a time with horses, and knights, and honor.

I know, I know.  If I was alive back then I'd either be dead or a really old lady. I'd crippled by work and arthritis, and I'd probably be toothless from mild scurvy and a lack of calcium.  I would have married at 15, and with my fertility I would have 14-15 children instead of the two I have now.  I might even have a grandchild or two.

Yes, yes, I know all that.  I just choose to forget about that.

In my daydream, despite the fact that I'm female, I'm a totally cool warrior chick - like Paksennarion from the Elizabeth Moon series.  I kind of imagine a world where women are equal to men and we can serve alongside them.  Since it's my daydream, I'm in perfect shape, can run for miles and hit a target with my bow at 300 yards.  Basically, I just run around, riding horses, defending justice, and kicking ass.  I have a coat of arms, a family sigil, and a battle cry that I cry out to the heavens as I raise my sword and charge into battle.

It's a good daydream.

And then reality sets in, and I start thinking about how stupid I'd look wearing a coat of arms with the insignia of a piddling cocker spaniel.

And, you know, crying out "Beeeaaaaaans!" wouldn't exactly strike fear into the heart of the enemy.  I'd just sound hungry, or like I was complaining about being gassy.

Oh, well.  I guess it's for the best. 

Labels: ,


Blogger Veronica Foale said...

I don't think FOALLLLE would work so well either. People would think I was collecting baby horses. Sigh.

October 14, 2011 at 3:29 PM  
Blogger AareneX said...


Not bad, and the enemy would probably figure that I was calling down lightning.

October 14, 2011 at 9:05 PM  
Anonymous MacLeod House said...

"For the Clan MacLeod!" - oh. Actually that *is* kinda cool.

I would gladly kick ass, on horseback right along side ya.

Like Valkyries.

Good daydream!!

October 14, 2011 at 10:44 PM  
Blogger Jam├ęthiel said...

"FULFORDS!" Which sounds properly English, because it is.

Only it means "dirty ford/from the dirty ford."

That's terrifying, really. "We are all muddy & dirty!! We will get you all dirty! We will stain your whites! They will never be clean again because there is no bleach! We are the MUDDERS!"

A gazillion geekazoid points if you can tell me what movie that's from.
...(Please tell me you know that movie!)

October 15, 2011 at 7:03 AM  
Blogger Dom said...

I shoot a bow from my horse from time to time. And I carried a sword while on him that one time. Does that count?

October 15, 2011 at 9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do I yell "Sunshine" or "Pants" in this instance? And which sounds cooler? Because, I think if I yelled "Paaants", it would sound like I was after the enemy's pants. Or perhaps that I was missing my own. Or some such thing.

October 15, 2011 at 9:44 AM  
Blogger Dom said...

I think if you yelled "SUNSHINE!!!" it would lull them into a false sense of security, thereby rendering your attack that much more effective.

October 15, 2011 at 10:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And you'd smell really bad. And since you'd have no shampoo or conditioner your hair would look like those wanna-be white kids who try to do the rasta thing.

Other than that, it's a good fantasy, I'd kick ass on horseback with you if I could ride in the granny brigade. Did they have mounting blocks in the middle ages?

October 16, 2011 at 7:23 AM  
Blogger mugwump said...

"Beans!" Could be a warning of your family's impending secret weapon.

History made with the first silent bomb, designed to repulse the masses yet leave buildings standing and dogs sniffing the air.....

October 18, 2011 at 5:12 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home