Monday, March 11, 2013

How Not to Roadtrip

I spent the last couple of weeks in California, visiting family.

It was great.  I have tons of pictures, got lots of time on horseback, and had a wonderful time.

Do you know what was not great?

The drive.

Specifically, the drive back.

I tried to split it up, but the second day still ended up being 15 hours.

Fifteen hours.

One Honda Civic.

Too much stuff.

A four year old who can't sleep in the car.  He did manage to nod off for about 45 minutes once, but for the most part, when he gets sleepy, he just cries.  He has a legitimate cough right now, so I even tried drugging him with Dimetapp (don't call CPS!  He actually needed it for the cough.)

No, he didn't go to sleep.  He just got really sleepy, and then cried about feeling sleepy.

Add to the mix a two year old who has learned how to get out of his carseat harness.

Do you know what's tons of fun?  Going 73 mph down the highway and looking in the rearview mirror and seeing your kid unbuckled and twisting out of his carseat.  No amount of talking, cajoling, yelling, or spanking managed to keep him in, either.  I cinched him down tight enough it should have been physically impossible for him to have circulation in his limbs, let alone wiggle out, but he still managed.

Next time I'm bringing duct tape and zip ties.

Also, we musn't forget the 60 pound six month old puppy in the backseat.  She was the best behaved one of the bunch, but she ate something weird the night before, and had gas.

Horrible gas.

The kind of gas that eats at your nostrils and sears itself into your brain while simultaneously melting paint off the wall.

Since driving 750 miles in one day with all of that wasn't nearly enough of a challenge for me, I decided to add something interesting to the mix.

See the zebra striped lunch bag?

This is what was inside:

Two one week old kittens - part Ragdoll.  As they age they'll darken up to Siamese coloration (seal point.)  One's for the Bean, and one is for a friend.

Because, honestly.  Who can say no to that face?

So, yeah.  750 miles, two kids, a puppy, two kittens that had to be bottle fed and cleaned every two hours, and 15 hours straight in the car.

Roadtrips aren't quite as much fun as they used to be.


Blogger Veronica Foale said...

You're insane. Certifiable. Uh huh.

March 11, 2013 at 6:25 PM  
Blogger redhorse said...

I think the Bean better wise up and get you a horse. Otherwise, he'll be buried in puppies and kittens and chickens. I see a pattern.

March 11, 2013 at 6:26 PM  
Blogger RuckusButt said...

I second BOTH Veronica and redhorse. Sorry, you've lost it.

March 11, 2013 at 7:05 PM  
Blogger AareneX said...

And I thought that *I* was crazy for driving from Reno to home in a single day. At least my driving companions are potty-trained!

What Veronica and Redhorse said? Yes. That.

March 11, 2013 at 9:47 PM  
Blogger mugwump said...

You are my kind of friend.
It's all an adventure and you keep going and seeing the greatness of it all.
The kids will absorb your spirit, even while they drown you in not sleeping, escaping and colds.
Now, no more sappiness from moi, the teasing and derision will recommence.

March 12, 2013 at 5:03 AM  
Blogger Horseyhabit said...

Do you still have Max?

March 12, 2013 at 7:41 AM  
Blogger ORSunshine said...

I'm sorry. I feel like it was my fault. You did tell me to tell you "No"...

March 12, 2013 at 7:10 PM  
Blogger Jamethiel Crabb said...

Everyday is a new adventure, some are just dirtier, more exhausting, and end up in better stories than others! Right?

Also, you are insane. Here's your certificate. Show it to the Bean and tell him it can only be revoked by peaceful barn time with your own horse. Ha.

March 13, 2013 at 2:28 PM  
Blogger phaedra96 said...

Some day this will be a story you will tell and all will laugh hysterically. I can top that, though. One-year-old twins, a five-year-old, ten-year-old and lets' drive straight through from Indiana to Florida. Any guesses why he is an ex?

March 13, 2013 at 2:43 PM  
Blogger Bif said...

I also agree with the "horse, or buried in household pets" method of leverage.

SO glad I wasn't with you for this trip!!

March 13, 2013 at 4:24 PM  
Blogger Bif said...

I also agree with the "horse, or buried in household pets" method of leverage.

SO glad I wasn't with you for this trip!!

March 13, 2013 at 4:24 PM  
Blogger Kaje said...

...Yes, because 2 children, various dogs and cats, and 3 chickens weren't enough, you had to add kittens to the mix. The kind that cry all the time (because they are always hungry), that need to be fed, all the time, by you, and not in an easy way, and the kind that pee on you when they eat (because kittens do that, dangit).

...I'm kind of jealous. We are petless. I tried to convince Rob to let me have chickens but we live in town and that was vetoed. He told me I could have a rabbit.

A rabbit.

Also, if you need help, I'm a kitten expert. I've literally bottle-fed and raised over 20 kittens. So if you need help or someone to cry to at 4 AM when you are covered in milk and kitten pee, email me. I'll respond, after 8AM or when my kids wake me up.

March 13, 2013 at 9:59 PM  
Blogger lytha said...

mmmm dimetapp.

March 18, 2013 at 11:38 AM  
OpenID upthehillbackwards2 said...

Oh my gosh thats nuts I think I would go nuts if my baby did that. and the gas and the car seat what an adventure

March 18, 2013 at 11:58 AM  
Blogger HarriFreckles said...

Oh those kittens ;o; How cute.
If it's any consolation, after I moved out my Mum went on a pet rampage. We now have 6 rats, 5 cats, 2 horses and a guinea-pig. All you need is a willing husband to help look after the rest when you're out riding.

March 23, 2013 at 3:59 AM  

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